


Of Human-Eating Firebird Men and Babies

by Iwovepizza



Series: Humans and Phoenixes Don't Mix [2]
Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Monster Hunters, Childhood, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Ex-Monster Hunter Inej, F/M, FBI Agent Inej, Fire, Fluff, Hybrids, Kanej child, Kaz Brekker's A+ Parenting, Monster Hunters, Monster Kaz, Monsters, Phoenix Kaz, Phoenixes, Stay-At-Home Parent Kaz, That last tag was sarcastic, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but seriously guys he's trying give him a break, monster hybrids, phoenix/human hybrid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:14:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9439955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwovepizza/pseuds/Iwovepizza
Summary: It turns out that raising a half-phoenix, half-human is going to be more difficult than Kaz and Inej had previously thought.





	

_“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.”_

_-Winnie the Pooh_

\----Ӝ----

 

            Inej walked into the kitchen just in time to see Kaz toss their infant child into a pot of boiling water.

            She was panicked at first, as any good mother should be, but soon her heart, which was jackhammering in her chest, eased as Jordie let out a happy gurgle and splashed around. Kaz did this every so often, just to make sure that their son was building up a resistance to heat, and needless to say, it gave her a heart attack every single time it happened.

            “You know, you could warn me first,” Inej demanded, and Kaz only grinned cheekily, flicking at her face with one of his wings. Jordie blew raspberries at her in some form of baby greeting, then chirped in what she could only assume was ‘hello’ in phoenix. “How are his wings looking?”

            “They’re growing in nicely,” Kaz told her proudly, snatching a washcloth from the counter and lathering it up with soap. “Pretty soon we’ll have to move him to the bathtub; his wings can barely fit in the pot anymore.” Jordie let out a growl of agreement, his little, baby bird-like wings flailing a bit and flinging water all over Kaz, who let out a groan and looked down at his sopping wet button-down with distain. “I just changed into this shirt after he threw up all over the last one!”

            They laughed and engaged in meaningless conversation while Kaz washed their child, who was too infatuated by the bubbles in the boiling water to really care much about the fact that he was being manhandled. Inej felt a bit left out as Jordie let out a soft chitter to which Kaz replied, picking up the sopping wet baby under the arms and blowing raspberries into his stomach. Jordie squealed, grinning toothlessly, and Kaz grabbed the nearby towel to swaddle him.

            “I feel like I’ve earned the title of Level 10 Dad,” Kaz announced as he held Jordie against his chest, allowing the child to scent his neck. “I have officially only ruined one shirt when bathing him.” Inej gave her husband a mocking slow clap, chuckling a bit as Kaz came over and kissed her cheek.

            “How was work?” he asked, leaning against her and nuzzling at the junction where her shoulder met her neck.

            “It was business as usual,” Inej snorted, rolling her eyes and shrugging Kaz off so they could get to Jordie’s room and get him dressed. She felt proud of the home they’d basically built up from the ground; when they’d purchased this house, it had been a serious fixer-upper, but now it was radiant and incredible, the perfect place for someone to grow up. They wouldn’t be having any more kids, the C-section taking an incredible toll on Inej, but they were glad that they were even allowed one; it had taken a really long time for it to take, and they’d worried that humans and phoenixes were just too different to produce a child.

            “Since when is being a field agent in the FBI ‘business as usual’?” Kaz prompted as they slipped through the door and were greeted by the comforting baby blue walls of Jordie’s room. “It’s sure more interesting than staying at home all day and going to PTA meetings.”

            “You get to spend quality time with Jordie,” Inej pointed out as Kaz laid the child in question down on the changing table. She kept a close eye on the phoenix-human hybrid to make sure he didn’t roll off while Kaz rummaged through the drawers below, eventually producing a cute grey onesie with the words, “PLAYER 3 HAS JOINED THE GAME” on the front with a little cartoon remote controller under it.

            “Yeah, but I miss you,” Kaz complained as he expertly wrestled the onesie onto Jordie despite the kid’s wriggling and squirming. There were slits in the back to fit Jordie’s wings through, and the kid let out and indignant splutter as the feathers got rumpled in the process.

            “I miss you, too,” Inej replied, picking up Jordie and pecking Kaz on the lips. “You should’ve dressed him in the ‘Little Ass-Kicker’ onesie; there’s a new episode of _The Walking Dead_ on the DVR.”

            “Then let’s get this fucking show on the road.”

 

\----Җ----

 

            “Be careful!” Inej cried for the thousandth time, chewing her nails down to the quick as Kaz and Jordie stood side-by-side on the edge of the roof. It was at times like this that she was glad they’d moved to the countryside, though it did make it slightly more difficult for their friends to visit.

            “Now, Jordie, don’t worry about a thing. I’m right here and I’ll make sure that you don’t fall,” Kaz was saying, twining his thin fingers through his son’s chunky ones. Jordie couldn’t’ve been more than three, and even though Kaz had adamantly stated that he would take on the task of homeschooling him until he was able to make his wings invisible, Inej still feared that someone would find out and alert nearby hunters to come after her husband and son; unlike the Dregs, many hunters didn’t care if quote unquote ‘monsters’ were settled with families, and they wouldn’t hesitate to shoot Kaz and Jordie full of lead.

            Jordie mumbled something into Kaz’s ear, and the phoenix’s eyes crinkled at the corners.

            “You ready?” he asked, and Jordie nodded, spreading his tiny wings, which were finally proportionate enough to his body to take his weight. Kaz followed his son’s lead, allowing his gigantic wings to unfold from nothing; several feet of brilliant yellow, orange, and red silhouetted itself against the blue of the sky, and the feathers seemed to glow from within, a pulsing golden light making it difficult to look straight at them.

            And in a matter of moments, Inej watched with blood roaring in her ears as the two most precious people in her life stepped off the edge of the roof and began to plummet towards the ground. It was all a blur of motion, and Inej could barely see what was going on, but eventually the two of them were launched into the sky by a single beat of Kaz’s wings. She raised her binoculars up to her eyes and watched as Kaz circled above, holding Jordie’s hand.

            The young phoenix was having trouble, beating his wings wildly but still heavily reliant on Kaz’s grip on his arm to keep him aloft, and Inej swallowed around the lump in her throat as she tried to read the words on Kaz’s lips as he hushed assurances and praise to keep Jordie calm.

            _Don’t worry, I’ve got you._

_You’re doing great._

_If you fall, I’ll catch you._

_That’s it, you’re getting it!_

And then Kaz let go of Jordie’s arm. Inej make a choking sound as Jordie was suspended in the air for a few moments…and then another few moments. Inej expected him to fall, but as she got another look through her binoculars, she found that Jordie has his eyes screwed shut, and his wings were beating steadily, keeping him aloft.

            She tossed the binoculars aside and began to whoop, tears pricking at her eyes as Kaz snatched Jordie from the sky and twirled him around, sprinkling him with kisses that their son made a face at and wiped away.

            They both turned to regard her from above, Kaz holding Jordie’s hand mostly for comfort as the two of them hovered in the air, and Kaz blew her a kiss while Jordie waved wildly, grinning.

            And in that moment, words could not describe just how much she loved them.

           

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of people were calling for a sequel to the first story, Of Mice and Human-Eating Firebird Men. Besides, the fic that I'm currently working on is really dark and I needed to write myself some good fluff.


End file.
